Just How Easy To Make Her Grumpy

The Tourist

Hi there, I'm Wenhui. This is my first blog for the WP2201C module.

Watched The Tourist last week, was completely charmed by Angelina Jolie’s character in the movie. The dialogue that she had with Johnny Depp in the train to Venice was particularly interesting:

Elise: I'm Elise.
Frank Tupelo: I'm Frank.
Elise: That's a terrible name.
Frank Tupelo: [laughing] It's the only one I've got.
Elise: Maybe we can find you another.
Frank Tupelo: Okay.

---

Frank Tupelo: What brings you to Venice?
Elise: You read spy novels. I'm the mysterious woman on the train, you tell me what my story is.
Frank Tupelo: Okay. Um, I think you could be a diplomatic attache.
Elise: Hmmm.
Frank Tupelo: Or maybe, a girl from East Germany, who's father's been kidnapped and they're blackmailing you into stealing something for them. Probably a micro-film. There's usually micro-film involved.
Elise: What awaits me?
Frank Tupelo: Trouble, certainly.
Elise: Danger?
Frank Tupelo: Oh, yeah! You'll most likely be shot at in less than two chapters.
Elise: Hmm. Is there a man in my life?
Frank Tupelo: Have to wait and see.

---

Elise: Invite me to dinner, Frank?
Frank Tupelo: What?
[she gives him a look]
Frank Tupelo: Would you like to have dinner?

Elise: Women don't like questions.
Frank Tupelo: Join me for dinner.
Elise: Too demanding.
Frank Tupelo: Join me for dinner?
Elise: Another question.
[Frank thinks for a moment]
Frank Tupelo: I'm having dinner, if you'd care to join me.
[Elise smiles at him]

---

Elise: Musician?
[Frank shakes his head]
Elise: Bar tender?
[Frank shakes his head again]
Elise: I give up.
Frank Tupelo: Math. I teach math.
Elise: I would not have guessed that. I'd imagine you a cool maths teacher though.
Frank Tupelo: Still a math teacher.

---

So that was how their first conversation went. I could not help but found Jolie very attractive in this scene. It is probably not only because of her appearance, but also her disposition and the way she talks.

The dialogue in which Jolie ‘invited’ herself to dinner with Depp sounded especially fascinating to me. It is probably not a usual way that a girl would express her interest of going out with a male acquaintance, but yet it sounds effective in this particular scene. Although it is more likely that Depp is enchanted by Jolie’s physical appearance rather than the way she communicates with him, and that the way she talks is perhaps untypical of how most women would talk in real life, we could still gain some insights of gender (mis)communication from this short dialogue.

So Jolie wanted to initiate a conversation and needed to stick with Depp during the trip in Venice. However, being a woman, she prefers being asked out by a guy than asking a guy out. So she said ‘invite me to dinner’. Even for a confident and beautiful woman like Elise in this movie, initiating a date is still a taboo.

As instructed by Elise, Frank, the character played by Depp, asked ‘would you like to have dinner’. So Elise said something that I feel to be very true, which is ‘women don’t like questions’. Taking her hint, Frank said ‘join me for dinner’. Elise was still not satisfied, as she considered it to be ‘too demanding’. So here is the idea: girls don’t want to appear to be too desperate in initiating a relationship, yet they don’t want to be summoned, and they’d prefer not to answer questions. It might seem ridiculous, but I actually do find some truth in this scene.

Girls tend to be more submissive, so it explains why they’d prefer not to be proactive in a new relationship, and would rather be chased by guys. It is probably for the same reason that some girls don’t like being asked questions, for it seems as if they’re taking control and making decisions. However, on the other hand, girls long for care and respect from the boys. Therefore, they may not want to be with guys who are too demanding or constantly ignoring their feelings.

It probably sounds tricky, if not impossible, for guys to strike a balance between being proactive and yet not demanding in a relationship. And I feel it could be one of the reasons that miscommunication happens between genders, as guys just don’t get the right way of expressing themselves to girls. Well, a lesson we can learn from the movie was: simply make a question sound not like a question: ‘I’m having dinner, if you’d care to join me’. That way, you don’t sound demanding, and yet you’re not asking a question either.

An Addictive Song